The Duel
by Simply Christian
Summary: It began when Yang Xiao Long struck Weiss Schnee, and the heiress took that as a challenge, one she eagerly accepted. The time: now. The location: here. The weapon…


It all began when Weiss said, "Ah-choo!"

If that simple action had been the end of it, the rest of the day would have gone on as normal. But alas, someone could not leave well enough alone.

When Yang Xiao Long heard the sound from her teammate, she saw an irresistible opportunity to remark, "That's a pretty cute _Schneeze_ you just did there."

Ruby made the obligatory groan at the pun, while Blake was content to keep her eyes on her book and pretend she did not hear her partner's wit (or half of it). The targeted heiress, on the other hand, stilled and slowly turned her head to glare at her friend. Yang grinned cheekily in reply to display how undaunted she was by whatever retaliation Weiss was plotting.

"That was _not_ funny," the fencer informed her flatly. "Not by a _Long_ shot."

It was the brawler's turn to freeze as she realized what Weiss had done. The smaller girl had attempted homophone humor before, of course, but this time Yang had to admit, her delivery was _good_. She even wondered if the joke was unintentional, but the small but smug smirk on her teammate's face told her that yes, pun was very much intended.

Ruby Rose, the traitorous little sister that she was, had the audacity to snort in amusement at Weiss' rebuttal. Why didn't she ever find her own sister's puns funny? At least Blake was loyal enough to ignore the heiress' joke, showing no preferential treatment… wait a minute the corner of her mouth twitched upward, darn it!

As ecstatic as Yang was that one of her teammates was indulging in her favorite form of humor, the undeniable reality was that the heiress had called her out.

It. Was. _On._

"That was an _un-Weiss_ challenge you made there," Yang grinned ferociously as she changed her position so she comfortably faced her opponent.

Her opponent's smirk widened as she retorted, "Actually, I'm quite _Xiao_ that you were the one who made the challenge, and I simply chose to accept."

"Either way, if you're certain you can handle my _rapier_ wit, then bring it on!"

"Don't throw down the _gauntlet_ if you can't follow up on it."

"I'm leaving," Blake announced as she got up and strode to the door with her novel in hand.

She had almost reached the doorknob when Ruby grabbed her wrist and cried, "Don't go!"

"Yeah, why are you _booking_ it?" Yang inquired mischievously.

Blake banged her head on the door in front of her once.

"Don't worry about it, Yang," Weiss put in. "She'll be _black_ before you know it."

The ebony-named Huntress-in-training banged her head on the door in front of her once more.

"Why do you want both of us to stay and endure this torment?" Blake groaned.

""Cause I wanna see who'll win!" Ruby chirped. "Don't you?"

"I'll be quite satisfied to hear the results afterwards."

"Oh, come on, some puns are actually kind of funny," the crimson leader argued.

"Puns are, by definition, _not_ funny," Blake returned.

" _Please?"_ Ruby whined pitifully, activating Puppy Mode.

Blake groaned. Canine-themed beings should _not_ sound that adorable.

"…Fine," she surrendered.

"Yay!"

"It seems Ruby _read_ you right, Blake," Yang teased.

"Shut up, Yang," the bookworm ordered flatly as she sat on her bed. The silver-eyed teen took a spot next to the feline Faunus.

"Oh my, someone's _catty_ tonight," Weiss smirked in amusement.

"Make any more jokes about my heritage, and I _will_ leave," Blake threatened.

"Fair enough," Yang conceded. "We'll stop just _fur_ you."

"…How did you convince me to stay again?" the sable-haired student asked the giggling prodigy next to her.

" _Dogged_ determination," Weiss answered, not-so-helpfully alluding to her partner's puppy-like personality.

"You're _barking_ up the wrong tree there," the brawler countered.

"I would expect such an opinion from a _ruff-ian_ ," the heiress returned haughtily.

"Sorry, I can't hear you, Weiss," Yang mocked. "Maybe if you used a sub- _woofer_ , it would help."

"That joke was a bit forced," the alabaster swordswoman criticized. "For your sake, though, I'll _tune_ it out."

"That's what I've been trying to do this entire time," Blake interjected.

"Hey, at least you aren't hearing it in _stereo_ ," the golden-locked girl pointed out cheerfully.

"She'd really hate the _sound_ of it then," Weiss agreed with a smirk.

"I thought you were dueling each other, not ganging up on me," the Faunus complained.

"Blake, I'm pretty sure they find your reactions as funny as their puns," Ruby chortled.

"Funnier, in some cases," the "little" sun dragon admitted. "But, that's to be expected: the greatest expressions come from those who can't _face_ our wit."

"That was weak," Weiss criticized, "It's like you're just paying _lip_ service to the pun cause."

"The pun _'cause_ … what?" the brawler prodded with a grin.

"Hmm, I think I'll leave you _Yanging_ ," the heiress decided with a haughty smirk.

"Back to names, huh? I'm not going to _Lie,_ I didn't see that coming."

"That's because you're an _Ig-Nora-mus_!" Weiss almost yelled, the passion of their duel obviously getting to her.

The two verbal fighters stared intently at each other as they both fully began to digest what they had been doing the past couple minutes. When they did, they did the logical thing.

They collapsed to the floor together in shameless giggles. Ruby, who had been enjoying herself all along, had a renewed attack of cackling. Even Blake was infected by atmosphere, and fell back on her bed, her hand going to her mouth in a futile effort to mute her laughter.

It took a few minutes, but all four girls finally ran out of giggles, and lay where they fell as they caught their breath.

"So, call it a draw?" Yang offered breathlessly as she struggled to sit up and put out her hand.

"I accept," Weiss panted with as much dignity as she could and reached out to the proffered limb. One handshake, and then Yang helped pull her friend into a sitting position.

"I got to admit, Weiss," the boisterous girl grinned as her heartbeat started to return to a normal pace, "I didn't think you had it in you."

"I was a little surprised myself," the heiress confessed as she held a hand to her chest to check on her own heartrate. "Now I understand why you love puns so much."

"Yes! A convert!" Yang cheered as she pumped her fists into the air.

"Of all the forms of humor you had to take to, it _had_ to be puns," Blake lamented, her tone tainted by the leftover mirth of her earlier laughter.

"What would you prefer, knock-knock jokes?" Weiss asked sarcastically.

As if answering the albino's question, a couple of raps at the door interrupted their conversation.

"Who's there?" the extroverted blonde called with a smirk, which earned a facepalm from the monochromatic half of her team.

"Uh, it's Jaune… and the rest of the team," came the reply. "We've been hearing a racket from you all; you okay?"

"We're fine," Ruby responded as she got up and opened the door, and helpfully explained, "Yang and Weiss decided it was o- _pun_ season."

"Not you, too, Ruby," Blake groaned.

"I'm so proud of you!" Yang cried as she grabbed her resisting little sister into her arms.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** For those of you who made through this Hurricane of Puns, you have proven yourselves to be true enthusiasts of the noblest form of wit. That, or you're a masochist.


End file.
